Parody
by LiquidGoldRose
Summary: Just some scenes that I made funnier. First chapter I thought of when reading Last Sacrifice. It's just stupidly funny stuff. Sorry for my horrible sense of humour. Please read and review.
1. Strigoi Dimitri CH 17 BP

**I got this idea randomly one day and though it would be hilarious. Sorry. :) If you like it, leave a review with another scene from the books and I'll try and do it too. **

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_**This is a parody of the end of Chapter 17 in Blood Promise when Dimitri captures Rose in Russia :D**  
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_I just needed a few more seconds, a few more seconds to drink him in before I killed him. _I gaped at him open-mouthed until he sighed.

'Rose, take a picture. It will last longer.'

'OK!' I whipped out my iPhone. 'Ok, move a little to the left. Smile a bit. Yeah, like that. Good.' I snapped the first picture and looked at it for a while, frowning.

'Nah. That's not good. Could you like move a bit? To the shadows, like, over there. And bare your teeth like you want to eat me or something?' I waved the iPhone around.

Dimitri gave me a funny look but complied.

'Oh, that's better.' I took another picture.

'Can you like crouch over her?' I pointed to turtle-lady. Dimitri rolled his eyes, moving to crouch over the old lady.

I took another picture. 'Yeah. This one is really good. Hmmm, how about you hold an "I'm going to eat you" sign. That would be pretty funny.'

'Rose, I don't have an "I'm going to eat you" sign.' He gave an exasperated sigh.

'Oh, no worries. I can make one.' I pulled a bright pink highlighter and a sheet of paper and scrawled "I'm going to eat you" on it in large curly letters. I skipped up to Dimitri and shoved the paper in to his hands.

'Hold it like that.' I said, demonstrating.

'Rose, you are totally killing my god-like image. I'm supposed to be smashing your head against a pole and dragging you off to my castle, not standing here posing for photos.' Dimitri glared at me.

'Calm down Comrade, we'll get to that part.' I replied cheerfully while arranging his arms.

I stepped back and picked up the phone again.

'Move forward a bit, I can't read the writing.' Dimitri stepped forward. 'Perfect!' Another photo. I tapped on turtle-lady's arm.

'Hey could you take a photo? My boyfriend and I are tourists.' Turtle-lady nodded. Dimitri opened his mouth to protest but I clamped my hand over his mouth and grinned for the camera.

'Another one!' I squealed, removing my hand from Dimitri's mouth and throwing it around his waist, my other hand making bunny ears above his head. Dimitri attempted to squat them away but turtle-lady was too fast, snapping the picture before he lifted his hand. I leapt onto his back and grinned for the camera again.

I slid off and took my phone back. 'How about –'

Dimitri interrupted me. 'No! That's enough. Unless you want to post them on Facebook or something, we're going.'

Damn, he was full of good ideas. 'Give me a second then.' I pressed the Facebook app, scowling when I saw there was no internet.

'C'mon Comrade, no internet here.' I grabbed his arm and started dragging him up the street.

'Use your data.' Dimitri protested.

'The Academy will get mad. They said I'm not allowed to use my data for Facebook.' I pouted. Dimitri groaned and yanked his arm back. Once he started walking, I clapped my hands and skipped around him.

'Yay! You're the best Strigoi boyfriend ever!'

He glared at me but stayed silent. I sighed and pulled out my phone, checking for Wi-Fi.

'Where are we going Comrade?'

'The library.' He snapped.

'Oh does grumpy bum Dimitri have PMS.' I made sure to say it in an annoyingly happy voice.

'Rose.' Dimitri snapped.

'Oh calm down. Here we are.' I skipped into the library and sat on one of the chairs. Dimitri leant against the wall nearby. I opened Facebook and signed in.

'Rose, hurry up.'

'Sorr-ey, I have like 20 notifications. I checked my Facebook like ten minutes ago. I feel so loved!'

I opened the notifications.

**_Lissa Dragomir commented on your status_**

**_Lissa Dragomir sent you a request in Farmville_**

**_Lissa Dragomir sent you a request in Petville_**

**_Lissa Dragomir sent you a request in Vampireville_**

**_Lissa Dragomir joined the group _**_Dimitri is an evil creature of the night_

**_Lissa Dragomir joined the group _**_Rose is gone L_

**_Lissa Dragomir invited you to the event: _**_Rose is gone, let's PARTAAAY!_

**_Lissa Dragomir sent you a request in Partyville_**

**_Lissa Dragomir sent you a request in battle of the vampires_**

**_Lissa Dragomir sent you a request in Dimitri vs. Rose_**

**_Lissa Dragomir tagged you in a photo_**

**_Lissa Dragomir tagged you in a photo_**

**_Lissa Dragomir commented on a photo you were tagged in_**

**_Lissa Dragomir has invited you to the event:_**_ 50 ways to kill Rose_

**_Lissa Dragomir has invited you to the event: _**_50 ways to imprison Rose_

**_Lissa Dragomir has invited you to the event: _**_50 ways to piss Rose off_

**_Lissa Dragomir has invited you to the event: _**_50 ways to make sure Rose doesn't come back from Russia_

**_Lissa Dragomir has invited you to the event:_**_ 50 ways to celebrate Rose's death_

**_Lissa Dragomir has invited you to the event: _**_50 ways to pin Rose's murder on Tasha_

**_Lissa Dragomir has invited you to the event: _**_50 ways to disable Rose_

'Don't worry. Nothing important in the notifications.' I called to Dimitri.

'I don't care.' He called back.

'Which photos should I upload?'

'I really don't care.'

'You're so right! That one with you and that sign was hilarious.'

I uploaded it.

'Rose you have one minute.' Dimitri called threateningly.

I attempted to upload as many as possible. Just as the last one was uploading, Dimitri stormed over and yanked me up by my arm.

'No! Wait!' I yelled, hooking my leg around a pole. 'Two more seconds! Look! Two more seconds.'

Dimitri yanked me harder and my leg was ripped from the pole.

'Spoilsport.' I grumbled. I ripped my arm free from his grasp and ran back into the library and uploaded the last photo. Dimitri followed me and dragged me back out.

'Ok, ok. You can do the whole smashing-head-against-pole thing now.' I sighed.

Dimitri lashed out just as my phone beeped.

'Wait!' I shrieked, ducking and pulling my phone out of my pocket. 'Facebook notification.'

Dimitri scowled but stopped the punch while I checked my phone.

**_Lissa Dragomir, Eddie Castile, Mia Rinaldi, Adrian Ivashkov, Abe Mazur and Janine Hathaway liked your photo_**

'Oh!' I squealed, waving the phone in Dimitri's face. 'Look! 6 likes.'

'I don't care.' Dimitri growled through his teeth.

I put my phone in my pocket and Dimitri attempted to punch me again.

His fist swung towards me. My phone beeped.

'Wait!' I held my hands out. Dimitri grabbed my phone, threw it on the ground and stomped on it.

I knelt next to it, trying to reassemble it so I could see what the message was.

I sat back on my haunches.

'That was just mean.' I sniffed as he hit me.

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**Dont forget to review and leave an idea for the next chapter :)**


	2. Portland CH 1 VA

**Thank you to everyone that reviewed: **TheBookShelf, XxLost-In-The-EchoxX **(damn thats a long name)**,it makes sense in context, **and elly mellark belikova but it wont let me write you name but dont worry, I know your still there.****  
**

**Anyway, you guys gave me the movitation to write the next chapter. Here it is.  
**

**Disclaimer: I obvvviously do not own VA (I WISSSH)**

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_I felt her fear before I heard her screams. Her nightmare pulsed into me, shaking me out of my own dream._ I was mad. That was the best dream ever and she rudely interrupted it. How selfish! I sat up in bed and yanked the pillow from under my head, pegging it at her face as hard as I could.

'Lissa. GET UP!'

'Andre' Lissa whimpered.

I grabbed the next pillow and threw it at her.

'You're not there. Shut up. You ruined my amazing dream.' I groaned as I got out of bed and walked over to the dresser in the corner of the room, I flopped dramatically onto the seat and pulled the drawer open, pulling out my lip-gloss. I started applying it when a pillow hit the back of head, knocking the lip-gloss and leaving a massive line up my face.

I rounded on Lissa. 'Liss, look what you did. I can never fix it. Ever. This is a disaster! Call 911!'

Lissa gave me a disgusted look. 'Rose, I was just having a nightmare about the day I lost my parents and your sitting there with lip-gloss?'

'Yes! You have had that dream like a billion times. And lip-gloss is important. If my lip-gloss is messed up, nobody will want me! And I always have people following me around. See, that guy! He's probably following me.' I jerked my thumb out the window at the tall guy that was standing there.

Lissa looked in the direction I was pointing at. 'Rose, that looks like a dhampir.' Fear washed through the bond.

'Damn, he might be after me. I've dated quite a few dhampirs. Dumped them quite brutally.'

'No, Rose. I think he's a guardian.'

'I've dated a few of them. Describe him. I wanna see if he's a new guy.'

'Well, he's pretty tall –'

'Oh! I've never dated a tall guy! Let's go see!' I glanced out the window and flounced out the door. Lissa followed me.

'Rose, I think he was sent here to get us.'

'Oh that sounds hot' I like guys who do what they were told.

Liss yanked on my arm. 'Rose this is serious. We should be running.'

'Oh calm down! We will have plenty of time for running after I get his number.' I scoffed, pulling my arm away.

I skipped down the stairs and stopped in front of our roommate.

'Hey Liss, can you get his keys?' I turned to where Lissa was behind me.

'OH, THANK GOD. I thought I would have to drag you away.' She turned to the housemate-guy, Jacob or Jeremy or something. 'Give us your keys. We need them for a getaway.' The guy gave the keys to Liss and she gave them to me.

'Hah, Liss, these aren't for a getaway, I need a car so we can go on a date with Mr-Hot-Dhampir-Guy.'

Lissa looked shocked. 'Are you serious Rose? What happened to being my guardian?'

I rolled my eyes. 'I have, like, a year until I have to guard your sorry ass. In the meantime, I'm gonna go have fun.' I skipped outside, dragging Lissa with me.

'We're off to see the incredibly hot guy, the incredibly hot guy of Oz. I sang loudly.

'Rose, wake up!' Lissa snapped. I skipped faster, heading towards the car.

Mr-Hot-Dhampir-Guy stepped in front of us.

'Wait! You're not supposed to come on yet. Give me a second to get ready.' I placed my hands on his chest and pushed him backwards a few steps. He was so shocked that I was actually able to do it. I darted around the nearest car and wiped off the line of lip-gloss and applied a fresh coat and attempted to fix my hair.

'Action!' I squealed, strutting around the car Mr Hot-Dhampir guy was in the same spot.

'Action!' I repeated.

Mr-Hot-Dhampir guy looked at me confused then turned to Lissa. 'Err, Anyway Princess. I am Dimitri Belikov –' He had a faint Russian accent.

'OMIGOD! That's such a hot name! And a hot accent! Bonus! My name is Rose! We should totally go on a date.' I interrupted, throwing my arms around him.

'Um, no. No, we shouldn't.' He replied, extracting himself from my grip and turning back to Lissa.

'Anyway, as I was saying. I am here to bring you back to the Academy.'

'I interrupted again. 'OMIGOD. That is soooo hot. Are you going to do it the smash-their head-against-a-pole-way or restrain-them-by-force-way. I personally think the restrain-them-by-force-way in hotter. More contact.' I winked.

Lissa stepped in front of me. 'Take her! Take her please!' She yelled, collapsing to her knees in front of him.

Dimitri looked horrified. 'No thanks.'

Lissa groaned and put her head to the concrete.

'Please, she is killing me!'

'Actually Princess, I am here to take you back and Kirova thought we may as well grab Rosemarie on the way.' I perked up at my name. It sounded so HOT in his accent.

'Oh, I'm sure we will have a marvellous time.' I winked at him seductively.

Lissa broke in. 'PLEASE, take me. Take me away from her!'

'I'm starting to have second thoughts at the taking Rosemarie thing.'

'Good idea!" Lissa nodded eagerly.

Dimitri pulled out a phone and flipped it open. I watched his super-long fingers press the buttons. SO HOT!

'OMIGOD. Liss, he is so hot. He's on fire. He's god. He's a stove!' I pretended to swoon.

Lissa glared at me. 'Go away Rose.'

Dimitri pulled the phone away from his ear and I could have sworn he looked disappointed.

'Oh. My. God! You guys aren't leaving me here are you?'

'Unfortunately no.'

I skipped around in a circle and clapped. 'Yay, We are gonna have soooo much fun! Can we sit together on the plane?'

'No.'

'Don't make me sit with Lissa. She's boring.' I pouted

'I wouldn't make her suffer through that, don't worry.'

'Awh, your soooo sweet.'

Dimitri gave me a sideways look and shuffled away.

'Come on Princess.' Dimitri placed his hand on Lissa's shoulder and guided her away. I skipped along in front of them until Dimitri stopped at a black SUV. He guided Lissa into the back seat and eyed me nervously.

'You can go into the other car.' He pointed towards another black SUV. I looked at him and pouted.

He slid into the SUV next to Lissa, leaving me to walk dejectedly to the car by myself. Alone.

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	3. Escape from Court CH 4 LS

**Thanks to **Guest **and **it makes sense in context **for reviewing.**

**This chapter is from Chapter 4 in Last Sacrifice.**

**Thanks to it makes sense in context for the idea :)**

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_"Anyone' turned out to be Eddie Castile. And Mikhail Tanner._

'Oh thank god! I thought you would never come. Pass me the keys.' I crossed the cell and shoved my hand through the bars. Eddie rolled his eyes and dropped the keys into my hand. I attempted to unlock the cell from my side.

'Eddie. Tell the lock to come here.'

'Rose, it's a lock, not a dog.' Eddie gave me a weird look.

'Well can't you twist it?' I sighed.

'It's embedded into the bars. Just give it here.'

'Oh fine. Wait a second. I look horrible. I can't look horrible. I might run into Dimitri and this is supposed to be the first meeting since his heroic act and I'm supposed to run into his arms and we are supposed to kiss and make up and - '

'Rose. Shut up. We are supposed to be at the garage by now.' Mikhail groaned.

'Oh calm down. It will take like two minutes.' I went and dug under my bed, pulling out half a beauty salon.

'We don't have –' Mikhail stopped himself and sighed.

'How the hell did you manage to get that in there?' Adrian and Dimitri rounded the corner. Adrian was gaping open-mouthed at makeup.

'I hid it in my sock.' I replied brightly.

'In. Your. Sock?' Dimitri raised one eyebrow.

Eddie looked at my socks. 'How big is your bloody sock?'

'They're stretchy!' I replied defensively.

'Rose, you have a freakin' hairbrush. You managed to hide a _hairbrush _in your sock!?' Dimitri looked incredulous.

'Dimitri. You dumped me. I'm going out with other men. You have to get over me. And I have to look pretty for those other men. And how can I look pretty if I have no hairbrush?' That's right. I can't. I need a hairbrush. So I hid it in my sock.' I turned back to the makeup stash.

Dimitri sighed.

'Rose. Hurry. Up.' Eddie lost his patience.

I quickly dabbed the last of my makeup on and stashed it all on my sock. Eddie had managed to unlock the door so I flounced out as dramatically as possible.

Eddie, Adrian and Dimitri followed me back.

'The only person these guards will remem-' Adrian started explaining.

'I don't care.' I sniffed.

Adrian looked at me, annoyed.

I skipped up to the top of the jail, past the empty guard desk and waited impatiently for the guys. I tapped my foot loudly on a square of metal that was embedded into the floor. The sound echoed loudly.

'Rose! Stop. Someone might hear.' Mikhail looked apprehensive.

'Oh re-lax.' I rolled my eyes. 'Who's gonna hear? The queen?'

Eddie pointed towards a group of Guardians and Moroi that were scrambling towards the garages. 'Them.' He replied.

'OMIGOD. GUYS!' I squealed, running towards them.

'Rose!' Dimitri groaned.

I draped myself over the nearest guy. 'Hi! My name is –'

'Rosemarie Hathaway! Guards!' The Moroi I was clinging to screeched.

'Oh my god, you already know me. That's step one done. Step two is-'

A hand gripped my arm and yanked me back.

'Hey I was introducing myself.' I complained indignantly.

Adrian ignored me and turned to the group to make them forget.

I poked my tongue out at them and ran to the nearest guardian. 'He's being a bully.' I pointed to Adrian.

'Rose Hath-'

'Shut up and deal with him. He's bullying me.' I tried to sound tough.

The guardian reached for his phone. 'No!' I screamed, yanking the phone away. 'Don't call reinforcements! It's one Moroi. Just knock him out and drag him to the cell.'

The guardian looked confused. 'You shouldn't be out here. You're a murderer.' He said matter-of-factly, He reached for me, probably to give me a nice pat on the back. I jerked away.

'No! You can't touch me now.' I ran across the driveway, screaming at the top of my lungs. I heard Dimitri curse and follow me. Damn him and his long legs. I started running in circles.

'You can't catch me now!' I yelled darting back to run around Adrian.

Dimitri crash-tackled me, sending me skidding along the ground. 'That. Was mean.' I huffed. Adrian, Eddie and Mikhail caught up.

'I am not getting in trouble for this crazy lady 'Adrian warned.

Mikhail looked at him. 'I honestly think we should just drag her back. We can't risk getting all of us Dhampirs fired or put into jail.

Dimitri stood up, rubbing the light stubble on his chin. I took the opportunity to climb to my feet and run in the opposite direction. Dimitri swore in Russian and hooked his arm around my waist.

'Rose. This is a serious situation. Unless you want us to dump you back in that cell to be executed, calm down.' His voice was so serious. I giggled and punched him in the jaw and made another break for it.

'You have to get over me Dimitri.' I yelled over my shoulder, sprinting towards another guy.

'Damnit Rose. I am over you. Be reasonable.' His breathing was getting laboured.

I launched myself at him and started stroking his hair.

'No. It's alright Dimitri. Don't cry.' I whispered, patting his hair.

'I'm not cry-'

'No. Shhhh. I know you miss me. Don't cry.'

'I'm not-'

'Shhhh. Tasha might take you back.' I patted his back.

'Rose!'

'SHHH!

'Let go of-'

'SHHH!'

Dimitri looked imploringly up at Eddie and Mikhail, who looked at each other and sighed. They prised me off Dimitri and held my arm so I couldn't go on another adventure. I turned to Eddie.

'Don't worry, Ed. Mia loves you. And so does Jill. But that's later news. Mia first.' I stroked his hair.

'Rose. Go away.' Eddie pushes my hand away so I turn to Mikhail.

'Don't worry, Mikki. We'll find Sonya and get Robert to stake her and then we will bring her back here so I can stare jealously at you two reuniting and think how Dimitri should have done it for mw but don't worry. I'm totally over Dimitri now.' I attempted to pat Mikhail's head too but he jerked away.

'Gosh guys. I'm only trying to help.' I grumble. 'Hey Adrian. Can I pat you?'

'No.' Adrian looks scared.

'Please?' I attempt to give him my puppy dog eyes but he was looking over my head.

'Can we please take her back and dump her in the cell again.' He begs.

'Rose! What took you so long?' Abe's voice rang out.

'Abe! Daddy!' I squeal, breaking free of my captors and running towards him. I start patting his scarf.

'Don't worry Dad. Mum still loves you. Don't cry.' I whisper soothingly.

Abe pushes my hand away and looks at the guys that followed me.

'Did you drug her or something?'

'I wish. It might have shut her up.' Mikhail sighed.

'So who's coming with me?' I ask, clapping my hands.

Everyone looks at each other.

'He is.' They chorus, pushing Dimitri forward.

To add emphasis, a large explosion rang through the sudden silence.

'Oh look. A gate. Let's go!' I clap and skip towards the car.

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**Review and leave an idea**


	4. Victor Kidnapping-Lissa POV CH 20 21 VA

**This is Lissa POV of VA 20/21. I know I usually do it in Rose POV but I thought it would be better in Lissa POV. I'm doing Rose POV of ****_her _****events right now. I pinky-swear.**

**If you love/hate me, leave a review. If you don't care, leave a review. You get the gist, just leave a review. Please.**

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I sat in the chapel, mindlessly playing with the edge of a box. I jumped when I heard a clattering below me. I grabbed the nearest book and clocked the person who was coming up in the head. They crumpled and I heard Christian swear before I heard a thwack.

'Oops.' I giggled, peering down the stairs. Christian lay at the bottom, his arms and legs sprawled in a rather unattractive fashion. I edged down the stairs, expecting him to jump up and eat my foot or something. When I finally touched down, I sighed in relief and sat at the bottom of the stairs, catching my breath. Christian gave a weak moan next to me.

'SHHH! I'm tired.' I whacked him on the head with the book again and he fell silent.

When I finally caught my breath, I knelt beside Christian and stuck my hands on his face. I summoned my magic and watched, fascinated as a large lump receded from his forehead. Wonder where he got that from.

Christians eyes fluttered open.

'Hey Liss. You OK?' His voice was weakly dangerous. The sound of his voice scared me so much that I clocked him on the head again and dragged him up the stairs to the attic. I dumped him in the corner and stood over him with my book. He groaned again. I decked him with the book again.

Then I realised what I had done. Oh my God. Christian. Christian. Christian was hurt. Oops. Oh well. I sat in the other corner and waited until he managed to climb unsteadily to his feet. I was just about to walk over when loud thumps echoed below.

Before I could lift my book again, I was surrounded, surrounded by men and women who had come out of nowhere, bursting up into the attic of the chapel. Christian leapt up, fire flaring from his fingers. One of the invaders hit him on the head with something hard, making his body slump to the ground. Third time tonight. Must be a record. Maybe I should have given him my book. I climbed to my feet and picked up my book.

The men and women surged forward, surrounding me. I shrugged and turned around, my book smacking about half of them.

'Oops.' I giggled and covered my mouth. The rest of the people looked at me in shock.

'This isn't going to plan. We are supposed to get out of here… inconspicuously.' What looked like the leader looked nervous.

'I can knock out the rest of you out and say you were overpowered by a legion of guardians.' I offered.

'How bout _we _knock _you_ out and drag the rest of the bodies off except for the boy?'

'Nah, don't like that plan.' I turned back around and another few people collapsed.

'Vasilisa, can you please stop whacking my people?' The leader sounded irritated.

'What?' I spun around again. A few more guardians fell. 'Oh. Whoops sorry.'

The leader gave her a dumbfounded look. 'Please stop.'

The leader was the only one standing, the rest were on the floor, groaning and holding their heads or their arms or wherever else I had hit them.

'Sorry.' Lissa gave her a sheepish smile.

'Erm, anyway. You have to come with me.' The leader looked at me imploringly.

'Oh, sure. Not very interesting in here, just a bunch of unconscious bodies. Where are we going?'

The leader looked at me like I was insane, which I found very rude. She dug a strip of black cloth out of her pocket and held it out. I shook my head.

'Nuh uh.' I held my hand out for the cloth which she put in my hands, confused.

I reached up and tied the cloth around her eyes. 'This is like a really cool game I used to play with Rose. I forgot the name. It was something long and confusing. She used to be blindfolded and she'd chase me around the room. Midnight. Murder. No. I don't know I give up.'

'Murder in the Dark?' Leader suggested.

'Might have been. Hey what's your name?'

'Jess. Now we have to get to the parking lot.' Jess sighed and attempted to wiggle the blindfold from her eyes using her eyebrows. I giggled and yanked it back down, grabbing her arm and the same time. I looped my arm with hers and skipped to the parking lot, dragging her along.

'Lissa, you're supposed to be handcuffed. I might get in trouble.' I skidded to a stop, thinking.

'Yeah. We can't risk that.' I pulled her blindfold off and tied it around my hands.

'There we go.' I said brightly. Jess looked doubtful but grabbed my upper arm anyway. I started to skip again but she yanked me to a stop. I pouted at her but she refused to let go.

'Hey, carry my book. I can't with my hands.' I jerked my chin towards my hands.

Jess reached down and grabbed my book, throwing it over her shoulder in one liquid motion. I stopped again and tried to run back for it.

'Hey! That's my book. I knocked out like twenty guardians with it.' I attempted to glare at her and grab my book at the same time but I ended up falling on my face. Jess yanked me up.

'No. We can't bring the book.'

'You sure?'

'Positive.'

'Awwww.' I hung my head and let her drag me to the car.

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**There we go. Lissa acting like our dear friend Rose. Next chapter is back to Rose. Thanks guys. Don't forget to review and leave another idea ;).**


	5. Victor Kidnapping-Rose POV CH 20 21 VA

**Forgot to last chapter but thanks to **it makes sense in context, Elly, Guest, rosebelikov4ever **and** BookShelf **(sorry guys I'm lazy but you know who you are)**

**Thanks to my mysterious guest for this chapter and las**t ;)

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_He immediately stepped aside for me. I'd apparently caught him in bed, because the covers were peeled back on one side and only a small tableside lamp shone in the darkness. Plus, he wore only cotton pajama bottoms; his chest - which I'd never seen before, and wow, did it look great - was bare. The ends of his dark hair curled near his chin and appeared damp, like he'd taken a shower not so long ago._

'Sexeyyy!' I squealed.

'Rose! What about Lissa.' Dimitri's voice was low, urgent and so sexy.

'Who cares? I have you and you have me!' I sang, launching myself into his arms. His arms wrapped around me automatically and let go just as fast.

'Rose are you drunk?' His voice. His sexy voice.

I squinted as I looked towards the ceiling. 'I shouldn't be.' I replied doubtfully.

Dimitri stared at me. I looked back at him and launched myself at him again. This time, his hands grabbed my wrists and I felt lightning spark through my veins. His hands tried to run up my arms but I stopped him.

'Gotta wait for thunder.' I warned.

'What?'

A low rumble echoed through the room which may have been my belly but was most certainly thunder.

'Never mind.' I replied happily, latching onto him again. The lightning flooded through me again and I held up one finger but Dimitri ignored it and kissed me. I pulled back.

'Thunder.' I squealed.

'Shut up.' He growled.

'Fine.' I sighed, kissing him. He broke the kiss to shuck my dress up and pulled it over my head. I attempted to stop it from going over my head – might ruin my hair – but he pulled it over too fast. He picked me and carried me to the bed, kissing.

I started to get bored of the kissing so I poked the back of his neck, feeling the bumps there.

'Ohh! Strigoi marks.' I flipped him over and started poking the marks harder. Six of them. All turning red. I giggled. Dimitri pushed me down and started kissing my again, urgently. Probably to shut me up. One hand tangled in my hair and the other moved to my throat to undo my necklace. As soon as the chain left my skin and was set onto the dresser, the lightning in my veins disappeared.

'Lightning.' I pouted. A memory swam to the surface. 'Lissa!'

'What about her?' Dimitri frowned.

'I dunno. Some guardian peoples knocking out Christian. The normal.' I reached over to pick up my necklace and the lightning returned to my veins.

'Lightning!' I beamed, throwing my arms around Dimitri.

Dimitri frowned. '_This necklace. That's the one Prince Victor gave you?"  
I nodded and could see the sluggish thought process trying to wake up behind his eyes. Taking a deep breath, he removed his hand from my hip and pushed himself away.  
"What are you doing?" I exclaimed. "Come back...'  
He looked like he wanted to - very badly - but instead he climbed out of the bed. He and the necklace moved away from me. I felt like he'd ripped part of me away, but at the same time, I had that startling sensation of waking up, like I could think clearly once more without my body making all the decisions.  
On the other hand, Dimitri still wore a look of animal passion on him, and it seemed to take a great deal of effort for him to walk across the room._ I smiled. Animal passion, hey? Tiger. Tiger tiger.

I crossed the room and leapt onto his back, knocking his hand and sending the necklace tumbling. 'Tiger.' I whispered, biting his ear. He squatted me away. I leapt back on.

'Tiger. Rawwr.' I growled in his ear.

'Rose. Stop it. Breakthrough here.'

'RAWRRR' I growled louder. 'Growl with me Comrade.'

'No.'

'Please? RAWWWWWRRRR!'

'No.'

'Just a little one? Just one little RAWR?'

'Rose, stop growling in my ear.'

'Then rawr.'

'Roar.' He said unenthusiastically.

'No. That's boring. Say it like this.' I rawred in his ear.

'No.'

'Rawr!'

'Fine. Rawr.'

I rolled my eyes. 'Fine let's go save the necklace.' I dived out the window before he could catch me. I heard him drop lightly to the ground next to me and tried to scurry away on my elbows and knees, butt high in the air.

'Tiger tiger tiger tiger.' I yelled before Dimitri looped his arm around my waist.

'Rose, we are not getting that necklace back. It's a lust charm.' Dimitri hissed.

'You're a lust charm.' I snapped, wiggling away.

He caught me again.

'Fine. We go rescue Lissa.' I scowled.

Dimitri sighed, relieved and turned away. I launched myself at his back again.

'TIGER SAYS RAWWRRRR!' I yelled in his ear.

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**Review and leave an idea. Sorry, I know this is short but next one **rosebelikov4ever**'s idea will hopefully be longer. Thanks guys**


	6. Training VA CH11

**Thanks to **FunkyMadOne, Guest **and **Elly** for reviewing.**

**This is from Vampire Academy Chapter 11.**

**The idea for this chapter came from: **Elly, thanks again.

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_When I arrived at the gym, I noticed he was wearing a T-shirt and loose running pants, as opposed to his usual jeans. It was a good look for him. Really good. Stop looking, I immediately told myself._ Then I shrugged. Who cares? Keep looking. I sat on the floor next to him, dreamily looking up. He looked down at me, confused.

'You should wear running pants more often Comrade, really displays your assets.' I winked at him. He looked a little spooked,

'Um, well I was going to teach you to attack people. But, I think I should reconsider, you don't need help with that..' He inched away.

'No!' I screamed, grabbing his arm and yanking him back. Dimitri edged away again.

'God Comrade, backing away already?'

'Rose I don't think we should teach you any offensive maneuvers. I think I should tell Kirova that she had a very, very bad idea.'

'No!' I screamed again.

'Dimitri sighed and turned back. 'You're not fighting properly this lesson.' He warned.

I gave him a smug smile and skipped over to the dummies.

'You're not fighting them either.' Dimitri called from across the room.

'What am I supposed to fight against?' I asked, incredulous.

'You're not fighting. I'll be teaching you defensive maneuvers. What is your biggest disadvantage against a Strigoi.'

'They may be a smoking hot guy and I might get distracted because I don't want to kill such a hunk.' I replied, straight faced.

'Something more… logical?'

'They could be, like, wearing really cool clothes that I really want so I can't destroy them.' Completely solemn.

'Something normal.' Dimitri snapped.

'Tall. Muscly.' I replied dreamily.

'Good enough.' Dimitri sighed. 'Strigoi may be taller and heavier than you. You can use that to your advantage.'

_He turned and demonstrated several maneuvers, pointing out where to move and how to strike someone. Going through the motions with him, I gained some insight into why I took such a regular beating in group practice_ aside from the fact the I constantly tried to apply a fresh coat of lip gloss in the middle of a fight, I mean, they took me down when I was unscrewing the lid! How unfair was that!_. I absorbed his techniques quickly and couldn't wait to actually use them, _some of them even gave me enough time to apply my lipstick safely!_ Near the end of our time together, he let me try._ I blinked at him.

'I can't fight you. I'm too distracted by your hotness. Could you, like, wear a paper bag on your head? Cut out eye holes?' I shook my head. Guys. How could he not think of that?

'How is it supposed to be a fair fight if I had a damn bag on my head?'

'It's not gonna be a fair fight, I still have your hunky body to deal with.' I replied, tipping Dimitri's lunch onto the floor and stuffing his head into the bag. Why he bought lunch when the cafeteria was like three steps away was beside me but damn it was handy.

I backed into fighting position.

'Ready?' I called.

Dimitri sighed. 'You forgot the eye holes.'

'Oops.' I giggled, skipping over to the first aid kit and pulling out a pair of scissors. I aimed the end at his eye and jabbed forward to make a hole. His hand smacked the scissors away on the path to grip his eye and howl in agony. I jabbed the other hole before his other eye could stop bleeding or watering or whatever was staining the bag and stepped back to examine my handiwork. A paper bag sat on top of a godly body that was curled into fetal position, gripping his eyes they leaked some sort of liquid. Good enough. I shrugged and pulled him to his feet.

'Finished Comrade.' I sung.

'I noticed.' He replied through gritted teeth.

'Ok. You ready?'

'Rose, I think I need to go to the doctors. My eye is bleeding.'

'It's just a scratch. Man up.' I rolled my eyes and swept my leg under his in an attempt to knock him over. I must admit even with a paper bag and two bleeding eyes, he was pretty good. He managed to hop away, hands still clamped over his eyes.

'Rose, I'm being serious. You might have damaged something badly. I need to have a doctor check this out or I might go blind.'

'Suck it up Princess.' I tried a move he had shown me, doing it perfectly but he still managed to stumble back.

'What am I doing wrong?' I asked in frustration.

'Well for one, you're not letting your injured mentor go to the doctor to get a wound that you inflicted on him with a pair of scissors checked out. For two, you're yelling out what your about to do. Yelling 'FOOT SWEEP' before you try and trip me over isn't really the most inconspicuous method I have even heard of. Also, I have been doing this for years but I must admit, you're the hardest one to get through to when I'm trying to hint that one; I am not interested in you AT ALL in a romantic fashion, two; you have to let me go to sick bay and stop thinking of dumb ideas like this one, and three; you need to stop fixing your hair and lip gloss in the middle of a fight. That is one of the most stupid and dangerous things I have ever seen in –'

I looked at my nails. 'Nice speech Comrade. Which line do you shut up?' I flashed him a smile. If looks could kill… I would be on the floor, rolling around, clutching my hair in agony and an attempt to protect it. I stood up.

'Uhuh. I said that. I went there.'

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**Thanks for reading. Please leave a review and give me an idea for another chapter. Your idea might not be done straight away because I have four other requests but I promise it will be done!**


	7. Strigoi Basement CH 19-22 FB

**Chapter 19-22 of Frostbite. Thanks to everyone that reviewed and thanks** **to **rosebelikov4ever **for the idea ;)**

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_The furniture inside consisted of several very uncomfortable-looking wooden chairs with slatted backs _and a few comfy leather armchairs_. _I looked expectantly at the leader.

"What now?" I asked.

Shock played across his face before he wiped it clean. "Shut up!"

"Don't get your knickers in a knot –" I leaned around him. "Too late!" I giggled, pointing.

"What?" The human looked down and I brought my finger up, smacking him in the face. I laughed hysterically while he glared at me.

"What's wrong princess?" I laughed despite Christian's warning glare.

The leader stared at me for a few minutes and poked me in the back with his gun.

"Get over there." He growled, pointing to one of the uncomfortable chairs.

"WHAT? Those guys are sitting in the armchairs!" I pointed to the other henchmen who were lounging in the armchairs, the other Moroi and Dhampirs already bound to the slated chairs. "This is rude." I sat down, cross-legged on the floor.

"Get up. You're annoying me." He poked me in the back with his gun.

"Am I, Princess? I'm not moving until you put me in an armchair." I crossed my arms.

"Those chairs are for the guards." The leader looked at me, exasperated.

"They can sit on the wooden ones, we have to sit on our chairs, like, full time."

"Your also _prisoners_."

I glared at him angrily. "That's fixable."

"Ok. Fine. Sit in the armchair." He threw his arms up and led me over to the nearest armchair. I settled into it, smiling at my disgruntled friends. One of the guards approached me with a flex-cuff.

"Hold out your arms." I obediently put my arms in front of me.

"Other way." He sighed.

"I can't. This chair is too bulky." I tried to show him but he grabbed my hands and cuffed them in front of me. I glared up at him and opened my mouth to speak but he pulled a roll of duct tape from his pants and shoved a strip over my mouth with a smug smile. I lifted my hands up to my mouth and ripped it off, effectively waxing my upper lip. Oh well, I needed to wax it anyway. The guard turned to the leader who shook his head and nearly ran out of the room. Coward.

"Well, it's just you and me then." I said cheerfully. The guard gave me a look of horror and turned to the nearest guard.

"She's your responsibility." He smirked, striding away to stand behind Christian.

"Oh no, you can't do that!" The guard whined.

"He just did!" I snapped my fingers. "Oh, burn!"

The guard stared at me. I stared at him. He flopped down onto the nearest armchair, his arm slung over his eyes but he sprang up seconds later when the leader poked his head in.

"Isaiah is here." He groaned. I perked up. Company! Excellent. Two Strigoi walked through the door, the younger woman leaning against the door frame. The older, more ancient one striding over to stand in front of me.

"Oh, great! I was waiting for you! Whens dinner? Or lunch or whatever? I'm starving, like, really-" I stopped.

Isaiah smirked down at me. "Keep going. I'd love to hear what you have to say."

"Oh you look so young but your eyes make you look so old. Your skin is flawless! What do you use? L'Oreal? I use that but you must use like ten bottles a day! Good stuff isn't it?" I beamed up at him.

"Why isn't this dhampir tied to a wooden chair like the rest?" Isaiah glared down at me. I grinned at him.

"Listen to her. She wouldn't shut up until we let her sit in my chair." The guard behind Christian rolled his eyes.

"They exaggerate. All I said was that I wouldn't stand up until they gave me the armchair. I mean, dhampirs have just as much right as humans, maybe more. If I really wanted, I could tackle them all to the ground in one super hit if you just took away the gun. You want to try? I reckon-"

"I've reconsidered. Gag her. She won't _shut up_. Do the others talk that much?"

"No sir. They haven't said a word."

"I can talk more than enough for all of us! What do you want to know? He is an Ozera. Lucas's son. And she is Mia Rinaldi, that's Mason Ashford and Eddie Castile. I'm Rose Hathaway! Guardian to Lissa Dragomir, last of her line. I'm also the student of Dimitri Belikov, that hunk. He's gorgeous. Not even you could deny that. He is like so sexy. Long brown hair, brown eyes, super tall. Like, knock-your-head-against-the-ceiling tall. But it's so sexy. I might bring him to visit-"

"Shut up! Ok, I'm going to cut to the chase. One of you Moroi has to eat her. Do us all a favour. I get to eat the other two and whoever doesn't kill her. The other one will live with me in royalty as the one who rids the world of her deserves." He looked pleadingly at Christian and Mia.

"No. I might get AIDS or herpes. I don't know what disease she has." Christian shook his head.

"Oh come on. Please? I'll even demonstrate." He turned towards Eddie.

"NO! Use me. Don't bite him." I called out, pretending to struggle out of my chair.

"Get back into your chair. I'm not taking any of your blood. As Ozera said, you could have anything." He shuddered and moved towards Eddie again.

"BITE ME!" Eddie yelled. "Make me so out of it I can't hear her anymore!"

Isaiah complied, sinking his fangs into Eddie's neck. Happy moans escaped from his mouth as he sank into the silent bliss. I watched Isaiah's throat move as he sucked the blood from Eddie.

"You know what? I'm hungry. You just ate. I want to eat. You guys got any brownies or, like, pizza?"

"No." Isaiah moved away from Eddie, towards the door.

"Damn. What about doughnuts?"

"I'll check." Isaiah nearly sprinted out the door.

Twenty four hours later, nothing had changed except my mood. I had been perfectly happy eating some out of date cookies Isaiah had found while watching the others slowly starve and Adrian had to go and ruin it by turning up in my dreams, demanding to know where I was. I didn't tell him of course. Why ruin the fun?

I couldn't tell you how many hours passed before Isaiah dropped in again, drank from Eddie, prattled on for like ten hours and left. But at least I was entertained. One of the guards had given me his phone and I was playing this game on the internet. It was great! Until I lost and pegged the phone out the tiny window in the top corner. All of the guards swore and attempted to clamber out but they managed to get stuck.

"Damn. I'm bored Chrissie." I complained. Christian looked at me.

"Get us out of here." He hissed.

I lifted my hands, still bound in the cuffs. "I can't."

"Rose you have been playing on that stupid phone for the past like four hours. I'm sure you can manage to bend down, pick up the pliers that are right near your feet and cut my cuffs." Christian whispered.

"They won't be happy." I pointed out the window.

"I don't care!"

"I do! They have been so nice to me!"

"Rose!"

"God, fine, I'll help you out of them. Stop whinging." I leant down, picked up the pliers and skipped over to Christian. I cut his cuffs, and moved onto the next person. Mia. Cut. Next. Eddie. Cut. Done. I walked over to the door and picked the lock.

"Let's go." I sang, skipping out the door. Eddie, Christian and Mia hurried after me. Christian yanked my arm and held me back.

"Rose. You forgot Mason."

"No I didn't." I protested. A piercing yell made me rethink.

"Ok, maybe I did. But he is a big boy. He can manage." Another scream contradicted me. "Oh come on! Fine." I grumbled, grabbing a sword from above the living room and stomped back to the basement, preparing to kill Mason myself. I kicked down the door and felt a bit of resistance.

"My God! Move your fat ass, Mason!" I shoulder barged the door, feeling it give way. I fell onto the door as it fell towards the floor. Don't worry though, my fall was broken by Isaiah and Elena. They were trapped under the door, their necks bleeding a bit from my sword, which had accidently cut them.

"Sorry guys!" I scrambled up, standing up on the door. Isaiah bucked, making me fall again. My sword dug into their necks again.

"Damn, I really am sorry. I didn't mean it." I stabbed the sword through Elena's neck and used it to heave myself up then watched in horror as her head rolled away. The sword gave way and I ended up in a heap on the door again.

"Oh damn. I'm really sorry." I sobbed, blindly stabbing my sword again and climbing to my feet. Isaiah's head rolled away, joining Elena's near the torn apart body of Mason. I heard footsteps behind me and Christian burst into the room.

"Oh my god Rose. What the hell did you do?" He yelled.

"It was an accident, I didn't – OMIGOD. Mason is bleeding all over my hairbrush." I ran over to his body and yanked my brush from underneath his mangled hand. Christian seemed to see his body for the first time.

"Mason. Oh no. Mason!" He cried, running over to my side.

"I know. I know. It's terrible. I can't brush my hair with this!" I sobbed, holding up my hairbrush. Christian swatted my hand away and grabbed Mason's body, hauling it into his arms.

"Mase?" He shook him.

"He's dead Christian!" I screamed, whacking him with my hairbrush. I felt strong arms wrap around me from behind and Dimitri's voice in my ear, his tone soothing, telling me to drop the sword I still held. I dropped it, the metal clanging loudly against the concrete floor.

"It's gone Dimitri. Gone! And it's my fault. I should have gone back for it!" I sobbed into his shoulder.

"Rose, it's alright, Mason would forgive you. He loved you."

"I'm not talking about Mason. Look at my hairbrush."

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**To be honest, I feel sorry for Rose. I kill all her emotional moments and make her seem like the biggest ditz.**

**Don't forget to read, review and leave an idea :)**


	8. Rodrian breakup CH 35 LS

**I know this story has been adopted but she wasn't doing anything with it and there hasn't been a new instalment in ages so I decided to write the next chapter while waiting.**

**Idea came from: **FunkyMadOne

**Thanks to all my reviewers and whoever nominated me in the 2012 best story comp.**

_I saw Lissa start to smile; then she glanced at me and grew serious, realizing this was hardly let's-have-fun-with-Adrian time._

Adrian looked at me, all tortured like.

"Don't think I haven't forgotten what you said when we were breaking out of jail. I never forget Adrian. NEVER!" I launched myself at him and ended up face planting into the wall behind him.

"Now, what were we talking about?" I got up, shaking my head to clear it.

Lissa looked at me, concerned. "Adrian. Are you sure you don't want to leave the break up as is?"

"Of course he doesn't, Liss. He came here to profess his continued undying love for me and to tell me he will not rest until Belikov is rolling in his grave, that sexy hunk." I yelled, tears falling down my cheeks and I tried to leap onto Adrian again and succeeded this time, hanging off his arm.

"No, I actually didn't." Adrian shook his arm in a fruitless attempt to shake me off while Lissa edged sneakily for the door.

"Of course you did! But don't worry Adrian. I love Dimitri but you; you will always have a special place in my heart." I pointed to my heart somewhere in my stomach region. "So don't cry. Don't cry."

Adrian collapsed into the nearest chair and shook his head. "Why on earth did I ever ask you to go out with me?"

I pulled my trusty hairbrush and makeup bag out of my sock. "Because you love me. And you thought we were going to get married on a beach in Vegas but Adrian that dreams over. Accept it." I answered, waving my mascara brush at him.

"Rose. We are over. I thought that was clear."

I didn't reply, intent on doing my lipstick.

"Rose quit doing your makeup. You need to understand what I'm saying."

I threw my hairbrush at the floor. "First Dimitri and now you. Why can't you guys just get that this relationship is over and I need to look good for my potential future boyfriends. What part of that do you guys not understand?"

"All of it." Adrian sighed.

"I mean," I continued, ignoring Adrian's interruption, "you guys dumped me. Now you have to live with the consequence. I know, I know, its harsh watching the ex-girlfriend you still love getting attention from other guys but seriously, deal with it."

Adrian opened his mouth to protest but clamped it shut again.

"And Adrian. I'm sorry, and I know you're sorry too, but I'm not the one for you."

"I realized that a little too late." Adrian muttered.

"Don't worry Aidy-poo. I still love you, deep down in the fiery pits of the bottom of my heart."

"Then, please, burn the rest of those feelings." Adrian called over his shoulder as he ran out the door.

**I know this is short and most likely very bad but this is the first time I've written any stories since the last time I posted. Thanks :)**


	9. Donovan Alley CH15 LS

**Sorry if last chapter was bad. I need to get back into crazy, messed up Rose mind again. **

**This idea is from: **FunkyMadOne.

**And thanks to: **XxRawringRosesxX **for apparently nominating me the the competition :)**

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_Then, I leapt off the roof. It wasn't an easy distance to jump-but not one that would kill me. Plus, my fall was broken by a Strigoi._

That's not saying that Strigoi are particularly soft. Did nobody think of me when they told me to do this? Of course not. I felt my ankle shatter into several million pieces beneath me.

"Ahh! Dimitri. I'm dying! Help!' I flailed around uselessly on the floor, my arms and stake waving wildly.

"My ankle!' I waved it up in the air.

"You ankle is fine.' Dimitri sighed and returned to staking his Strigoi. I scowled.

"Help!' I cried, reaching my arm up to the Strigoi that had been hovering above me, confused. But he wasn't there. And while I was on the subject of things that weren't there when you needed them, neither was my stake. I heard a thump beside me and the second henchmen collapsed, my stake protruding from his heart.

I leaned over and yanked it out. "Thanks for finding it. Damn I'm a great Strigoi killer. That was like, no effort at all.'

I turned to the other battle. Dimitri was pulverising the other henchman and Donovan was closing in. You know, that Donovan guy was kind of cute with that dark hair and awesome beard. Even his white skin was good; it made his inky hair stand out.

"So, Dimitri is kind of busy. I reckon we should wait for him.' I called as I fixed my hair and makeup. Donovan looked over at me.

"What are you doing?' He called back with his lovely harsh voice.

I stuffed my makeup back in my sock but continued brushing my hair. Donovan came towards me. Damn, I must be good looking if he was picking talking to me rather than saving his henchman that was still being pulverised into a holey, bloody mess by Dimitri.

"Hello handsome.' I smiled. Donovan darted forward, arms outstretched, probably to hug me but I ducked out of his way.

"NO. You introduce yourself before we hug!' I scolded, whacking him with my hairbrush. He reached again but I dodged, whacking him again.

"I've decided that I don't like you. Too pushy and persistent, you won't introduce yourself.' I turned my back on him, fully intending to stalk away but he sprung onto my back. I twisted out of his grip.

"No! I. Rejected. You!' I shrieked, whacking him with my hairbrush with each word. "That' –smack- "means' –smack- "I'm' –smack- "not interested! Boys!' I huffed and attempted to stalk away again but to tell you the truth, when you're really small alley, there isn't much room to stalk. I sensed him behind me again and spun around but Dimitri was already on him, restraining his arms. I swan-dived in, sitting directly on his chest.

"Rose. Move.' Dimitri growled.

"I'm giving him a second chance. Maybe he wants to talk to me now.' I protested.

Dimitri very rudely ignored me and shoved me off.

"Where is Sonya Karp?' Dimitri roared.

"If I tell you, will you keep your crazy girlfriend away from me?' Donovan pleaded but I knew he didn't want me away from him. I was just that irresistible.

"I can't promise that but I can try.' Dimitri grimaced.

"Good enough. Well, she's in Paris, small town, about an hour away on a small lake. Blue house I think.' Donovan blurted out.

"Sounds romantic.' I winked. He shuddered, in longing I'm sure. "We need more details. Donovan and I are going on a picnic to the lake.' I told Dimitri but he already had his stake out and in Donovan's heart. My mouth dropped open. He plunged the stake in again.

"Oh my GOD, Dimitri. You just totally wrecked my date. He was so into me!' Dimitri ignored me, still mutilating Donovan. I smacked him in the back of the head with my hairbrush. He stopped and turned to glare at me.

"He's dead. You killed my boyfriend. We were going to get married this summer. Beach wedding. You ruined it! You ruined my life.' I wailed. "My life is over! It's over! Go away! You've done enough damage here.'

"It's never enough.' He whispered. "It'll never be enough.'

"What do you mean? He looks pretty dead to me." I poked Donovan with the end of my stake.

"You're the only one. The only one who understands. The only one who saw how I was. I could never explain it to anyone ... you're the only one. The only one I can tell this to ...'

"You know what I don't understand? Why you had to mutilate my perfectly good boyfriend.' I threw myself over Donovan's chest and stroked his face.

"It's ok. It's ok now. I'm here. I'll always be here for you. I love you Donovan.'

"I dream about them, you know. All the innocents I killed. I keep thinking ... maybe if I destroy enough Strigoi, the nightmares will go away. That I'll be certain I'm not one of them.'

"You know what Dimitri. If you didn't kill my boyfriend, I totally wouldn't mind you killing Strigoi. But come on. We were in love. In love! He thought I was beautiful! Do you think I'm beautiful?'

"There's nothing beautiful here. Only death.' Dimitri got up. I leapt up after him.

"Are you sure? I think I'm rather good looking. Surely you can find one thing beautiful. Just one?' I leapt onto his back. "I mean, I know it's a difficult choice but you have to be able to find at least one thing. Please.'

"Fine. Your hair.' Dimitri groaned.

"You know, I always thought my hair was beautiful too. What about it do you like?'

"It doesn't talk.' Dimitri called as he walked to the car.

"Of course it doesn't talk. Gosh, he is such an idiot.' I laughed.

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	10. Dimitri Restoration CH16 SB

**Thank you for the reviews guys. They urged me to write another chapter so keep em coming.**

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**Idea from: **rosebelikov4ever

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_"But you can find Vasilisa?" he asked._

"Is that our first priority?" I groaned. "Damnit. I saw a mall back there and I was hoping to get a new hairbrush. I left the last one in Russia and Lissa gets mad when I use hers." Hans gave me an incredulous look. "Ok, ok. I'll help. But can I get a new hairbrush after?" I begged.

"You're walking to and from the mall." Hans snapped and shoved me forward.

"Ok." I grinned.

"Ok. Give us some information." Hans urged.

"Three waves. Some on Lissa and Christian, some outside and some inside the building before the storage room." I replied lazily, checking my nails for stray dirt.

Hans gave me one last exasperated look before turning to the rest of the people to form a plan. A few minutes later, we were tearing along the road towards a warehouse full of possibly hot guys and a bunch of girls that were probably going to be wearing clothes that would look so much better on me. I toppled out of the car gracefully, trying to get away from the carful of sweating guardians.

"Ew." I shrieked wiping at any exposed skin with a towel I had shoved in my sock. I noticed a few of the newer guardians giving me quizzical looks but the older ones were so used to me pulling things out of my sock that they just shoved the newer guardians towards the charging Strigoi. I caught sight of the Strigoi and ran in a circle, squealing.  
"Don't touch me! I spent two hours on my hair this morning."

Hans grabbed me by my shoulders and forced me into the building. "Lead the way." He growled.

"So pushy." I sniffed, running on my tip-toes to avoid the layer of dust that caked the floor. I was so focused on the dirt that I hardly noticed the Strigoi rushing towards us until guardians surged from behind me to battle them. Hans shoved me into a gap in the fighters and I squealed as he pushed me through a particularly thick layer of dust. I sprinted faster than I ever have in an attempt to get out of it and ten of us burst into a hallway with a number of doors.

I danced on the spot. "Which door? Which door, Hans?!"

"The one with guards obviously." He growled back.

"Right." I yelled and sprinted towards the door. Half our group tackled the guards and my group attempted to bust down the door. Or in other words, the other four in my group busted down the door while I fixed my makeup. I skipped through the broken door, nearly colliding with a female Strigoi who immediately reached for my loose hair.

"Oh hell no!" I screamed, staking her before her hand reached my hair. "Gosh. I got worried there. Do you know how long this took?" I yelled to nobody in particular. Then I spotted what I desperately needed. A hairbrush. Lying near a chair. I darted towards it, underneath arms of Strigoi and dhampir alike.

"Oh my god!" I squealed, brushing my hair.

"You never change do you?" I heard a familiar voice above my head.

"Oh, it's you again. Picture time?" I asked hopefully, raising my new phone.

"No." He replied, his hand flashing towards my phone.

I yanked it out of his reach. "NO! This phone must survive. My fans love my phone. They were so heartbroken when you smashed my last one. They wanted to know what the notification was and you broke it."

"What fans? The ones from the mental hospital?" Dimitri threw his hands in the hair exasperatedly.

"A few of them may be from there but that's not the point. They love me. And I love them. More than I love you." I threw my arm dramatically across my forehead and took a few steps back.

"Go back to fighting. You don't talk when you fight. You almost look like an avenging angel come to deliver the justice of heaven." He waved me back towards the fight.

"Almost? I have a pair of wings and a halo… just let me get them." I held one finger up.

"Let me guess. From your sock."

"Of course." I replied brightly, pulling them out. The wings were a little crumpled but still looked ok as I tied them on. Just as I was reaching up to put my halo on, somebody knocked it out of my hands and it was snapped underfoot of a pair of wrestling guys. I attempted to dive for it but a wall of flame stopped me and all I could do was stare helplessly and the flames engulfed my halo. All the memories swallowed me, buying it from the reject shop in the middle of the night yesterday, stuffing it in my sock today, watching the plastic disappear into my socks roomy confines and last but not least, extracting it today and being so close to putting it on my head. I couldn't help myself. I burst into tears.

"That costed a whole of two dollars fifty. That was my pocket money for the whole week! You so have to pay for that. Plus two hundred dollars interest. Sparky!" I sobbed.

"Busy." Christian called back. I caught sight of Lissa, Dimitri and Christian surrounded by a wall of fire and instantly stopped crying.

"Oh this should be good. Someone get the popcorn." No reply. "I'll get it myself. I walked over to the nearest crate and opened it and whaddaya know? Caramel popcorn. I held up a packet. "Anybody want some?"

"Rose, that is probably about five years out of date." Someone called.

"Nonsense. This stuff never goes out of date." I cracked open the packet and took a handful. "Ew. Maybe you're right. This stuff is nasty." I turned around and rummaged through the next crate. Krispy Kremes. "Score! And look. They aren't expired: 'best before: someone else eats them'."

I flipped open the lid, revealing several rather mouldy doughnuts infested with ants. I threw the box high in the air, squealing. Hans leaned over. "Looks like someone beat you to them."

"Ok, ok I get the message. No cinema food." I replied huffily and sat back against the wall to watch the battle. Lissa had the stake partially in and was attempting to wiggle it in further while Dimitri was yelling in pain from the flames surrounding him. Just the sight of the flickering flames brought back the memory of my beautiful plastic halo, surely just a blob of sparkly gold molten plastic on the floor by now.

Sudden light burst through the room, as well as a magic through my head like lightning. Surely this was an angel, come to claim her halo. I flung myself to the floor and squinted through my eyelashes as the light disappeared. I was fully expecting an angel to be descending from the ceiling but it was only Lissa and Dimitri, crying on the floor.

"Are you serious? That's what that was all about. Come on! Whoop de do da. Dimitri is a dhampir. I thought an angel was coming for my halo to carry it up to its rightful place in heaven." I cried, storming up to the blob of gold glitter and attempting to pry it off the floor, to no avail except for burning my fingers.

"What? It's hot, you know." I yelled defensively and sprinted out of the room.

* * *

**Just for the record, I don't like caramel popcorn. Or multi-coloured popcorn. I personally find them so gross.**

**And you guys wanna know what's sad. I crack myself up. I read over everything I've written for this story and realized that I am damn hilarious. Is that normal?**

**Anyway. Leave an idea for the next chapter!**


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